Some of you may know that I'm a Christian, and so you can imagine that my faith journey has been mapped out for me in a certain way. So what I'm about to tell you might seem very un-Christian, and it kind of is, which is an interesting feeling for me.
Anyway, in the past couple of months my faith has gotten bigger, I've become much more open minded. I've started to develop my own unique sense of spirituality, and it's been such an interesting journey.
I'll be honest, I never thought my faith would transform the way it has. I now believe in a much bigger God than before, and I am still a Christian, but I also believe in this sense of The Universe, and that God is so much bigger than the boxes we put Him/Her in. I'll explain more as we go on, but for now, here is what I've learned from broadening my faith:
Starting to See the Box
So I first wanted to explain where I've been and where I'm coming from. I have been raised in a Christian background, not religious but more spiritual. Still, there were certain boxes put around God, sin and identity as a Christian.
I started questioning these boxes, and wanted to know if they rang true for me in my personal faith journey. Some did, and some didn't, and that started to be okay. During this time, I really took the time to just figure out what I wanted to believe and what rang true for me right now. It didn't mean that I subscribed to one belief forever, but just that it rang true for me right now.
It was this fluidity that allowed me to get to where I am today and where I will be in the future. At the time, I started to want a big God, because I noticed I was putting Him/Her in a box, and I wanted to know just how big God is; I started craving this notion that there was a force both inside and outside of me of supreme love, and it all started with one prayer: God, show me how big you are.
My views slowly started to shift towards this bigger notion of God as a whole. Not just in my religion, but bigger than religion. I talked a lot with God during these months. Maybe that sounds weird to you, and that's totally fine, your faith journey looks different than mine and if the notion of talking to God freaks you out, that's fine too.
For me, I can hear an audible voice. It isn't a compelling voice, it's more like a quiet whisper. You can call it whatever you want: conscience, intuition, I choose to call it God. But regardless, it's a voice of love and it often leads me to create positive change in my life and be true to myself.
I remember hearing this whisper, "I am so much bigger than you think. Look around, there is so much love in this room right now, surrounding you, within you." I started to feel so supported by the love within and around me, and I liked that feeling. It was nice to think of the world as a huge atmosphere of love. It shifted how I thought about situations, people and everything else.
Where I Am Now
I consider myself in an in between space. I am still figuring out my spirituality. As of now I still believe in Jesus, but I also believe in this notion of The Universe, and the ultimate reality of love as a whole. I still have so much to figure out and form my own beliefs about, but I feel a whole lot more free than I did before.
I feel so supported and held and just happy. I'm actually enjoying the journey for once. I don't have to have it all figured out at once, I can be okay with my own unfolding. It's a space I'm not used to, but finally welcoming for the first time.
I've started praying more often, I'm reading The Universe Has Your Back, A Course In Miracles, and I'm just soaking in this sense of spirituality. It's new and exciting, but also scary and unknown territory for me. I'll be sure to keep you updated as I go along, but for now this is where I am.
I hope you enjoyed this post! Thanks for being here, and I would love to hear your faith journey in the comments. Are you in a religion or are you figuring it out for yourself?
Either way, it's your own faith journey, so just as a guideline for below, don't judge. Just because someone else's path differs from yours doesn't mean it's wrong or bad, it is their own journey towards their own highest truth.
I hope you have a great day, and a wonderful weekend!