In the spirit of growth and personal development, I thought I'd share with you the one mantra that continues to transform my life and promote healthy internal change. I've been carrying this around with me for a while, and I first heard it from a wonderful woman named Christa Black Gifford.
She specializes in trauma in her work, and she's very attune to the internal aspect of people. I've taken her course, which I highly recommend, and it left me feeling really in control of my own life and empowered to make decisions that helped me grow.
So, what is it? Well, I'm glad you asked...
You Are The Most Powerful Person in Your Life
If you are anything like me when I first heard this, you may have felt a surge of relief, a touch of extreme happiness, and then utter confusion and fear.
That's okay, because it is hard to accept this type of responsibility, isn't it? In part, it is hard to believe as well, because if you have been playing victim in your life it can be hard to break out of that mold.
Now, let's back-step a moment. Playing victim is often regarded as fake crying your way into getting someone's pity for your life, which in actuality is not usually the case when playing victim.
I realized that I had been playing victim in multiple ways, none of which dealt with the stereotype. I believed that I was powerless to create real change in my life, that I had to go along with others' stories about me and my life, and that I wasn't in control.
These were lies that were holding me back, and it wasn't like I was trying to earn anyone's sympathy, I was just buying into them.
Turning the Corner
This mantra set me free in more ways than one. By recognizing my victim mentality, I realized that this truth meant that I could change it. If I was the most powerful person in my life, you bet I was about to make some changes around here.
I started taking responsibility for myself, my internal stories and healing my wounds. It's easy to stay stuck in the blame game, and I'm not saying that what a person does to hurt you doesn't have to take responsibility for their actions. I'm saying that you don't have to live in that lie anymore.
Let me just clarify: The blame game is a natural response to a hurt, and I'm not saying you're being a baby about this. Your hurt is completely valid.
I think it's a natural response to want them to say that they were all wrong and you were right and valid, but in reality, that may never happen. And if it doesn't, that doesn't mean that you have to stay stuck in that pain forever.
Be the Flower Pot Among the Sprouts
The people who hurt you may never grow out of their hurtful abilities, they may never change. But that's okay, because you can.
Their growth shouldn't determine yours. You have a choice to dive deep, start getting help for your wounds and start creating healthy boundaries to make sure that relationships are healthier.
You are the most powerful person in your life. You can create change. You can choose to believe differently, think differently, and do the internal work to heal your wounds.
Seek Out Solutions
Now, as I say in my video e-course, willpower isn't enough to change you. It may seem like I'm making it simple, but in reality the choice is just a small part of it.
Sometimes you need someone to help you through a wound, and other times you need spiritual guidance or just time to work through it.
You have to go inside, and search out those places of pain, as well as seek out solutions.
So, has anybody wondered yet why I am talking about internal wounds? I thought so, and this, simply put, is why: Your past defines your present, but it doesn't have to define your future.
Your past wounds are carried into the present, and whether you like it or not, you get to define whether or not you keep them.
Is it simple to change, is it easy? No. But the deeper you go internally, and the more you learn to define what you believe about yourself and the world, the more you start living the life you dreamed about.
This was a bit of a long post, but I wanted to make sure I covered everything. I know that this is a bit of a controversial topic, so I'd love to hear about any questions or comments you may have on this. Tell me below in the comments, I'd love to hear from you!
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I hope you have an amazing Friday and I can't wait to see you again next Tuesday!